This afternoon after I got home from a couple of finals my iTunes genius made me a playlist that had several songs on it from the past, some as old as 2002. Hearing those songs really made me scoot my chair back and try to remember what life/I was like then, and what's changed.
What a trip.
It's amazing to think of how much everything has changed in six years. I don't have the space, and you don't have the attention span to give a lot of details, but I want to throw out just a few of the things that happened that have changed/taught/grew me. Since 2002:
- I have been home schooled, attended a public high school, attended a JC, attended a state university. Each of these has come with it's own strengths, weaknesses, lessons, and revelations, and I am glad that I've been able to do each of them.
- I began to take guitar and music seriously. I started playing worship at the greenhouse with Mike Z and have continued to have worship be a constantly growing part of my life ever since. I realized that worship transcends music.
- Joined a rock band, rocked with some great guys for two years and then dissolved. Got the confidence to sing; something I had wanted to be able do for literally as long as I can remember.
- I grew long hair and cut it off. Multiple times.
- I lost friends, I gained friends. I watched some friendships strengthen and some dissolve. I blamed myself, and I blamed others.
- Began working with children who are a mirror of a time in my life that was awful, and realized how much they need to see that Jesus loves them. And how much they need people to love them.
- I grew at least a foot.
- I listened to music that screamed and called soft music stupid. I listened to soft music and called music that screamed stupid. I realized I love them both, and that's ok.
- I started to realize who I am and who I want to be, and tried every day to turn the former into the latter. I realized that left to my own devices I will always choose who I am over who I could be. Subsequently, I realized that it was not me who needed to bring about any change in me.
- A boy and a girl began a relationship. A man and woman decided it should end.
- I realized with shaking knees that the God I had always been taught to love loves me too.
There's obviously so much more that belong on a list like that, but those are things that jump out as being either important or worth smiling about. The process of remembering was really cathartic for me; I absolutely recommend that all of you put on some music from the early thousands and take a minute to reminisce.